The Way We Once Were
by BonesBird
Summary: M/G After the problems of the last year, can they mend their friendship and move forward. Song-Fic as always
1. Head On Collision

**Title: The Way We Once Were.  
****Author: BonesBird  
****Summary: M/G After the problems of the last year, can they mend their friendship and move forward. Song-Fic (as always)  
****Disclaimer: I dunnae own em  
****Lyrics: Head On Collision - New Found Glory**

**********************I was listening to the acoustic version of this song and my friend Clare inspired me to write, so I took whatever this song made me think of and wrote it. AU as ever. **

_**

* * *

I've been waiting for a good day  
**__**I've been holding back long enough  
**__**I've been hurting to tell you some things**_

Derek looked at the bouquet of flowers in his hands, he knew he had a lot of ground to make up with his friend. When had they stopped being best friends. When had they stopped telling each other everything. When had the inescapable wedge been placed in a relationship that a year earlier would have been impossible to separate. When had things changed so much between them.

_**Its not the falling of the temperature  
**__**That's making all our bones run cold  
**__**It's the breeze you make**_

He had begun shut himself off from her when he realised how much his actions in New York had hurt her. Hotch had been right when he had called him on it, he didn't fully trust anyone. He admitted he had a hero complex, and that made any relationship difficult, regardless of how he felt. He regretted so many things that had happened between them in the last few years.

_**The presence felt when you're around me  
**__**And it feels like I'm at an all time low**_

It had all started with Battle. Jason Clark Battle was a name that was etched into his memory, and always would be. When he had shot her, Derek had been convinced that he had lost her forever, and that had torn their first shared "I love you" when they had returned to her place, and he had known she was going to be alright. He had felt her slipping away after that.

_**Slightly bruised and broken  
**__**From our head on collision**_

He soon found out why, Kevin Lynch. He had been the thorn in Derek's side for over a year, whenever he'd wanted to just spend time with Pen, Kevin had always been in the background. He had always tried to err on the side of caution in what he said to her, and how he acted around her. That had started an immediate withdrawal of sorts.

_**I've never seen this side of you  
**__**Another tragic case of feeling**_

Another cross point had come in the shape of a victim's sister. He had gotten close to Tamara Barnes, but nothing had come of it, and he had deliberately misled Pen into think something had, because he was hurt over Kevin Lynch. He was hurt that she hadn't told him, that she had hidden it from him at first. He had found out by sheer chance of being in the Bullpen when Lynch had wanted to talk to Rossi.

_**Bruised and broken  
**__**From our head on collision**_

He hated the idea of losing her, he hated that he had pushed her away, given her the impression he didn't want her in his life anymore. He hated the thought that he might have hurt her. That something might have been done to stop all of the pain in both their lives since Battle. Derek wasn't stupid enough to pretend there was another turning point. Admitting how they felt and turning away from it was the turning point in their friendship, that until that point had been so strong.

_**I've never seen this side of you  
**__**Another tragic case and I've been**_

However, now she and Lynch were on the rocks, and she was opening up to him again, he knew he had a chance to show her that he couldn't live without her. Her friendship meant more to him than anything in the world. He would happily stay single forever after if it made her happy. He picked up the phone to call her.

_**

* * *

Still waiting for a good day  
**__**I think I've held this long enough  
**__**I think it's safe to tell you some things**_

She had woken up alone. She had fallen asleep alone the night before. She had had to accept that her relationship was all but over, and she was ready to move on, to being single, to becoming a crazy spinster with a million cats like the character on _The Simpsons_. She had spent her nights crying, and mourning the end of the 2 year relationship that had been her crutch for the last few months.

_**Its not just what you say to people  
**__**And it's not the way you look at me**_

She had felt the shift in herself straight away, and she found herself thinking about Derek. Previously he would be the one she'd go to when something when wrong, but the last couple of years she had felt their friendship slip away. She hadn't tried to save it as much as she suddenly wished she had. She missed having him come running the second she sounded different on the phone. He knew her better than anyone else, he still knew her better than Kevin did. He probably always would.

_**It's the way you present  
**__**Yourself for all your worst critics to see  
**__**And it feels like I'm at an all time low**_

She remembered the first time he had told her he loved her. She'd been stood in the very doorway she was stood in now. She had been shot, he was being her noir hero. He was always her hero. Regardless of how things stood between them now, he would forever be her hero. She remembered he once asked her to promise never to stop talking to him. She had neglected that promise. She'd never broken it, but she had for sure neglected it, and she's neglected the friendship that meant most to her.

_**Slightly bruised and broken  
**__**From our head on collision**_

The final straw for her had been his reaction after she had warned him about Tamara Barnes. She knew that he had every right to tell her to get out, to leave him alone. She hadn't told him about Kevin when they had gotten together, so why should he pay any attention to what she was saying. He had every right to find a girl. She had been worried about him professionally as well as personally with Tamara Barnes. It had been so soon after Hotch's incident with the Reaper, she'd been scared for the entire team. Derek was just forefront in her thoughts.

_**I've never seen this side of you  
**__**Another tragic case of feeling**_

She had never felt an absence as great as she did her greatest friend. When her parents had died she had mourned and moved on. Never forgetting them, but finding a new place in her life that had lead to the life she led now. With Derek, she saw him every day. She couldn't mourn something she could still save. It would take all of her thoughts, it would take everything she could possibly do to make things better for them.

_**Bruised and broken  
**__**From our head on collision**_

She was over letting her feelings go, she was over ignoring the friendship that had seen her through some of the very worst things she'd seen. After two years of problems she realised she wanted her best friend back. She wanted movie nights, nights at the bar with their friends, late nights in his garden talking about everything or nothing. She didn't want to have to say goodbye to him.

_**I've never seen this side of you  
**__**Another tragic case then you were gone**_

She hoped she could forgive him. She hoped that everything could be resolved. She knew it wouldn't be overnight, she knew that it wouldn't be easy. There were issues they needed to talk about before they would be able to move forward. She hoped they would be able to. Her phone rang.

_**

* * *

You were gone all this time you just didn't know it yet**_

The phone rang, three times, four. He fought the urge to put the phone down. He smiled as she answered the phone.

_**You were gone all this time you just didn't know it yet**_

She smiled as she heard his voice, laughed as he asked if he could come over, she told him she thought he was reading her mind.

_**You were gone**_

When they were sat together they were able to talk. Gently, honestly. Sharing their feelings, their opinions, their honesty.

_**And it feels like I'm at an all time low**_

They came to an agreement. They came to a place where they could be all that they were, and more.

_**Slightly bruised and broken**_

He told her that she was his world. There was no-one else in the world for him. He could never look at another woman the way he looked at her. Could never care for another woman the way he cared for her,

_**From our head on collision**_

She told him that he had always been her best friend, she had tried to forget that, to suppress that, but it hadn't worked. Her brain, her heart, her body, her soul had sent her ricocheting back to him, back to Derek.

_**I've never seen this side of you**_

Never again would he make her feel unwanted, never again would he let her feel she wasn't good enough for him, or for anyone else. He promised he would tell her how amazing she was every day. He was glad his best friend was back to him.

_**Another tragic case of feeling**_

She promised to never let him slip away again, to never run from her, afraid of his feelings or afraid of commitment. She would never let her love of him be questioned again.

_**Bruised and broken**_

He was exhausted. Mentally. Physically. The day had taken it's toll on him. He said his goodbyes. Leaving her, promising so much more would be discussed after they'd slept.

_**From our head on collision**_

She watched him leave. She knew they had more to discuss. They had talked well into the dawn hours, it was no wonder she was as exhausted as she was. She dialled his cell before getting into her bed

_**I've never seen this side of you**_

He answered his cell as he arrived at his place. They talked, laughing and joking a way they hadn't in a long time. Teasing, pressing. He felt they were back.

_**Another tragic case and I've been**_

They were back. She was sure of that. She was glad they had more time to talk. After their phone call she felt more secure. Falling into a sleep with his face the forefront of her dreams.

_**Still waiting for a good day**_

**

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I think this one has another chapter in it? What do you think?**


	2. Run

**Title: New Found  
****Author: BonesBird  
****Summary: M/G After the problems of the last year, can they mend their friendship and move forward. Song-Fic (as always)  
****Disclaimer: I dunnae own em  
****Lyrics: Run - Snow Patrol**

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* * *

I'll sing it one last time for you  
**__**Then we really have to go  
**__**You've been the only thing that's right  
**__**In all I've done**_

His apology had been accepted, he'd headed home, emotionally exhausted but glad to have gotten past a lot of the issues they'd had. A lot of the problems that had been caused by 2 years of allowing their friendship to drift. Until he'd met her, he hadn't realised how much you had to work on keeping a great friendship alive, not only a relationship. The last thing he ever wanted to do was lose his baby girl as a friend. The day had dawned and he had awoken feeling better than he had in a long time

_**And I can barely look at you  
**__**Coz every time I do  
**__**I know we'll make it anywhere  
**__**Away from here**_

The following morning she woke feeling recovered. She smiled once again at the picture of her and Derek she had place at their bedside. She had had to move it while Kevin had been coming round. She knew that today she was going to cut the "Kevin" cord for good. She was over that, and wanted to go into the future as a single lady. She wanted to go into the future in good stead.

_**Light up, light up  
**__**As if you have a choice  
**__**Even if you cannot hear my voice  
**__**I'll be right beside you dear**_

He text her as soon as he'd had a coffee, inviting her over. He had felt hurt when she told him she needed to do something first, but had accepted his invitation. He set about picking some films she'd enjoy as well, he knew her taste almost as well as he knew his own. He booked the pizza to be delivered at 9pm, when they'd always order the same thing. He looked forward to his evening with her.

_**Louder, louder  
**__**And we'll run for our lives  
**__**I can hardly speak I understand  
**__**Why you can't raise your voice to say**_

After she told Kevin it was over, and a ten minute call where he tried to convince her to come back. She finally made it to Derek's. He greeted her at the door with a hug and a gentle squeeze, it was what she had needed after the emotional rollercoaster that had been her day. She smiled at his table, covered in her favourite snacks. Along with a pile of their joint favourite movies.

_**To think I might not see those eyes  
**__**Makes it so hard not to cry  
**__**And as we say our long goodbyes  
**__**I nearly do**_

Her eyes lit up as she looked over the selection he had picked out for them, her hands on his chest as she turned to thank him. She gave him another hug, with a kiss on the cheek. He savoured having her so close, it felt fantastic, after so long of being apart. Emotionally distant at least. He didn't want to imagine not seeing her eyes light up that way again. Saying goodbye to his baby girl  
would always be unacceptable. He helped her back to the sofa, before slipping the first movie in.

_**Light up, light up  
**__**As if you have a choice  
**__**Even if you cannot hear my voice  
**__****__**I'll be right beside you dear**_

As they watched the movie she had slipped closer and closer to him, they had started the movie sat next to each other, but not touching. They had both shifted early on so that they had been sat together, she'd smiled as his hand had dropped to her shoulder, and she'd leant against him, her head on his shoulder. Eventually their other hands had found each other and twisted themselves together. She laughed as the credits started, and neither of them made a move to change the disk.

_**Louder, louder  
**__**And we'll run for our lives  
**__**I can hardly speak I understand  
**__**Why you can't raise your voice to say**_

His heart started beating faster as the movie ended, if she didn't move he had no intentions of doing. He was enjoying having his arm wrapped round her, and her other hand drawing shapes on his palm while they sat in a companionable silence. The credits had long since ended when they finally moved a little, just so she could reach over and put another movie in. She immediately fell back into a position identical to the one they'd been holding. Her head in the hollow above his collarbone, his hand gently stroking her shoulder.

_**Slower, slower  
**__**We don't have time for that  
**__**All I wants to find an easier way  
**__**To get out of our little heads**_

She turned to look up at him, finding him looking down at her. Their position making their eye contact seem closer, deeper. They both took a breath in together, a smile fell on her face. He gently licked his lips and she felt compelled to do the same. They held to position for a heartbeat, 2, 3. Neither breaking eye contact with the other. Her heart started to race as he smiled. She nodded up at him, minutely.

_**Have heart my dear  
**__**We're bound to be afraid  
**__**Even if it's just for a few days  
**__**Making up for all this mess**_

He bent his head, kissing her lightly at first. One gentle kiss, followed by another. He helped her move to find a more comfortable position. He felt her hand wrap around his neck as he cradled her to him, holding her in place. Her other hand laying on his chest. Their kisses got deeper as the movie played in the background. He had never thought that a movie night to get them back on track, would help them move them so much further forward.

_**Light up, light up  
**__**As if you have a choice  
**__**Even if you cannot hear my voice  
**__**I'll be right beside you dear**_

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**I don't really know how this second chapter happened. But I like it. Hope you enjoyed this. I'm gonna break until Saturday now before I post another fic (I have posted a chapter/fic a day for almost a month... apart from the days I forgot! I always put two up the next day though!) **

**The next fic starts my joint venture with and redheaddynamite .It's sorta to do with the team as is in my case fics, with a couple more newcomers. You'll see when it starts. Its my baby, and It'll be a sequence of stories. If you check out Clare's profile you'll see the backstory and you'll also get a special little fic I wrote on her behalf.**


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